You ever feel like you just keep experiencing the same things over and over again? It’s the same cycle; like lather, rinse and repeat? Well, that is me—NO, that was me. This year I became really tired of struggling with the same things. I picked at little things that I didn’t like about myself. I isolated myself from the people who love me. I tried to handle everything on my own and then acted like everything was all peachy when everything was actually falling apart. I was extremely hard on myself. I was extremely pessimistic. I’m a perfectionist, and I hated making mistakes so much that I’d stop myself from making any moves. Honestly, this list could go on forever, but the point of me listing these things is to show you that I was becoming my own worst enemy. I was the one getting in the way of everything that I wanted to accomplish. I was the one stopping myself from being great, and I knew something needed to change. I knew I needed to change.
Soooo I started to shift my thinking. I started being kind to myself. I started doing things for me. I focused on the things that I loved and what I wanted out of life. I started to care about Makeda. I had to sit down and ask myself some hard questions. As a 20-something, it can be hard to figure out your life. Am I the only one that feels my steps are more of a stumble than a graceful leap? LOL. We don’t have to have everything figured out, but when things aren’t going how we want them to, we have to figure out the problem and the solution. Life is too short to be unhappy with our careers, relationships, selves, etc. So 2018 is deemed the Year of Makeda, and I wanted to share a few of the things that have helped me get out of my funk.
Bring it back to the core.
Over the course of 2017, I felt like I lost God. I know that you can’t technically lose God, but it sure felt like I did. It was not a good feeling. My relationship with God is my core; for that part of me to feel like it was missing was a big factor in how I was feeling. I didn’t have anything to anchor to; no faith and no hope. When I was able to really focus on what the issue was, I learned that despite those feelings, it’s about pushing through. You got to keep praying, keep reading your Bible and keep spending time with God. Once I started to do that, things started to fall into place. I was focusing on the right things.
What’s at your core? What’s the thing that grounds and centers you? Maybe it’s meditation? Or maybe it’s something else? Whatever it is, focus on that. When our core beliefs and values are messed up, all other areas of our lives can be affected.
Go to counseling.
I want to write a whole blog post about this because I can’t tell you how much I love counseling. It is one of the best decisions I’ve made so far in my life. When people think of counseling, they think of someone going through it. Maybe an addict, someone with severe depression, etc. But you don’t need to be a severe case in order to go to counseling. Everyone should do it. It’s an eye-opening experience where you can get to the root of the problem. A counselor helps you come to conclusions on your own and prepares you with tools to help you overcome the problem. If you’re worried about the cost of counseling, there are options! Your health insurance sometimes covers counseling, or at least pays for some of it. Another option is turning to a college or a church. Many of them offer free or low-cost limited sessions for the community. Figure it out someway, somehow. I promise you won’t regret it.
Okay, I promise I’m not just saying this, but this is another one of my best decisions, LOL, and something else that I encourage everyone to do. When you’re an over-thinker, it can be hard to figure out your thoughts. Journaling helps me make sense of everything. I get all of my thoughts out, and then there’s instant clarity and revelation on the situation. You can be as unfiltered as you need to be because there is no one there to judge you. Ever since I was a little girl, the only way I could properly express myself was through writing, so journaling is super therapeutic for me. I also practice gratitude journaling to help shift my mind to the good things going on in my life.
Find things that you enjoy.
My mom gave me great advice during my little rough patch and said that every day, I should make sure I’m doing at least one thing that I enjoy for myself. We get caught up in the day-to-day, and things start to become routine. When I realized I wasn’t taking any time for myself, I started to try to figure out what I enjoyed doing. I’m actually still figuring these things out, LOL. Whether it is going on a walk, spending time with friends, finding a hobby, developing a passion, watching your favorite show—FIND IT and DO IT! Surprisingly, I realized that I actually like nature (only to an extent, LOL). I went on a walk around a local lake with a friend, and it was one of the best things because it really relaxed me, cleared my head and kept me active all at the same time.
So that’s it! Those are some of the things that I’ve been doing, and it’s helped so much! I’m still a work in progress, but I know I’m not the only one going through these things. So if you’re also going through a season like this, I hope these things help you as much as they have helped me! 2018 is the Year of the Makeda, so make it the Year of You, too!’